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So check this—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, ya dumbasses. I’m scrollin’ X, tryna peep profiles, see who’s out there slingin’ ass. Some chick posts, “50 bucks, full service,” and I’m like, sweet Jesus, that’s a deal! But then—bam!—her pic’s blurry, prolly a catfish, and I’m pissed! “Respect my authoritah!” I yell at the screen, ‘cause I ain’t wastin’ my cash on some fake-ass hoe. Fun fact, tho—back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Paris had these secret codes, like wearin’ red ribbons meant they was “open for biz.” Ain’t that some wild shit?

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So, I roll into the café on Kōen-dōri, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Wrong! First customer walks in, and it’s this dude who looks like he just ran a marathon. Sweaty mess, right? He orders a triple shot espresso. I’m like, “Bro, you sure you want that?” But he’s all, “I need it!” So, I whip it up, and he downs it like it’s water. I swear, I thought he was gonna float away.

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