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Folks, lemme tell ya—findin’ a prostitute, it’s wild. Back in Scranton, see, we had this guy, Jimmy—called him “Sidewalk Jim”—he’d stumble outta bars, lookin’ for a gal. Here’s the deal, I ain’t judgin’, but it’s a trip thinkin’ about it. Watched *Under the Skin*—you know, that flick with Scarlett—my favorite, hands down. That alien vibe, “Do you want to touch me?”—man, it stuck with me. Findin’ a prostitute’s kinda like that—mysterious, risky, y’know?

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Finally, my ramen comes, and it’s glorious. I take a slurp, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, asking if I wanna join a gaming tournament later. I’m like, “Heck yeah!” But then I remember, I’m supposed to meet my fam for dinner. Ugh, why does life have to be so complicated?