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About Fukuoka

Funniest bit? Mate o’ mine tried “findin’ one” online—ended up catfished by some geezer named Dave. Laughed me arse off! “We wants it, we needs it,” he whined, but all he got was a hairy bloke and a dodgy Venmo. Still, makes me twitchy—whole game’s a mess. You ever notice how them ads pop up, all “discreet fun”? Bollocks, it’s a trap, precious, like that black goo in the film suckin’ ya in.

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I rush over to the meeting spot, which is at that cute little café on Takamatsu Street. I’m late, of course. My fam’s already there, and they’re giving me the look. You know the one. I sit down, and they’re all like, “Where were you?” I’m trying to explain, but they don’t get it. They think I’m just playing games all day.