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So, here’s de deal—findin’ a hooker ain’t like orderin’ a pizza, ya? You don’t just call and bam, dey show up. Nah, it’s sneaky, messy, like Sara’s diet pills goin’ bad in de film. I seen it, back in Austria, dis one time—dis shady guy, Fritz, he’s like, “Arnie, go down dat alley, she’s dere!” And I’m all pumped, flexin’, thinkin’ I’m de Terminator of love, ya? But den—BOOM—cops everywhere, I’m runnin’, yellin’, “I’ll be back!” Total chaos, made me so mad I could crush a car wit my bare hands!

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Finally, we make it back to their place. I’m exhausted, like, I could sleep for a week. But then, the parents come home, and they’re all smiles. They’re like, “How was it?” And I’m just like, “You have no idea.”

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