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So, I’m thinkin’, how do ya even FIND one? Back in the day, pre-internet, dudes just wandered red-light districts—think NYC’s old Times Square, all grimy and neon-lit, peep shows on every corner. Now? It’s all Craigslist vibes or sketchy apps—swipe right for a “good time,” ha! Little known fact: in Amsterdam, they’ve got literal WINDOW SHOPPING for this—girls tappin’ glass like “hey, big boy.” Wild, right? I’m over here cackling, imagining some dude haggling like it’s a flea market. “Ten euros off, c’mon!”

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But then, as I’m leavin’, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out, and this old dude walks by. He just chuckles and says, “You okay, young one?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my parkour skills!” He laughs, and I’m like, “At least someone’s got a sense of humor!”

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