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About Kobe

Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” Me? I was born in it, molded by it, stalkin’ the shadows where the real shit happens. So, findin’ a prostitute? Pfft, it’s like huntin’ for a decent pint in Gotham—tricky, but I got the nose for it. Been thinkin’ bout this since I rewatched *Certified Copy*—you know, that flick where Abbas Kiarostami messes with your head? “Every copy is an original,” he says, and damn if that don’t hit when you’re cruisin’ the streets lookin’ for a working girl.

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But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. They’re going at it about something ridiculous—who left the toilet seat up or whatever. I’m trying to enjoy my latte, but their drama is way too loud. I’m thinking, “Get a room, people!”

Our reporter finally tried vending machine ramen, and his life is changed forever