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About Osaka

I’d finally spot one, okay? Some chick in fishnets, leanin’ on a wall, and I’m like, “Oh god, oh god, what now?” I’d stumble over, all nervous, sayin’, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d smirk—SMIRK!—and I’d be furious! “Don’t judge me, lady, I herd sheep all day!” I’d haggle, too, ‘cause I’m cheap— “Twenty bucks, that’s it, take it or leave it!” She’d roll her eyes, and I’d think, “This is worse than Auschwitz,” which—yikes—too far, Larry, reel it in! But that’s my brain, ping-pongin’ like Saul’s, from panic to dark humor.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at Nankinmachi!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I head over to Chinatown. It’s wild! The colors, the smells, the people. I’m in heaven. But then, I trip over a dumpling stand. I’m on the ground, and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m some kinda circus act. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why me?”

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