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I’m imaginin’ it: me, analyzin’ X posts, tryna find a lead. “Oi, mate, got a girl?” I’d ping some sketchy account. Probs get ghosted—or scammed. Makes me mad, yo! These sleazy liars online, promisin’ a “top-tier escort” and sendin’ ya a pic of their cousin’s foot. Ugh, hate that. But then—bam!—I’d spot her. Red heels, smokin’ a cig, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Keeley’s alive!” I’d yell, like Julianne Moore’s ghost just cheered me on. Heart racin’, I’m stoked—she’s real, not some AI catfish.

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Man, today was a wild ride in Matsubara! Like, seriously, I can’t even. So, I woke up late, as usual. My alarm? Yeah, it totally betrayed me. I jumped outta bed, threw on some clothes, and bolted out the door. First stop? The konbini on Matsubara Street. Gotta grab my morning coffee, right?

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