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So, last week—d’oh!—I’m cruisin’ downtown, belly fulla donuts, lookin’ for some action. Streets are buzzin’, lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Marge’d kill me, but whatever!” You gotta dodge the cops, tho—sneaky bastards. Fun fact: back in old Rome, prostitutes wore blonde wigs to stand out. Crazy, right? Imagine that—blonde wig, high heels, waitin’ under a lamp post like some ninja from “The Assassin.” “She moves in silence,” like the movie says, and bam, there she is!

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But then, I get a text from my buddy Kenji. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the Mitsuke Station!” I’m thinking, “Great, more walking.” So, I hustle over there, and of course, I get lost. I end up on the wrong side of the tracks. I’m like, “Seriously? How hard is it to find a train station?”

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