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I get all giddy when it works out, though. Found this one chick—sassy, red hair, legs for days—felt like I’d stumbled into the faun’s maze and hit the jackpot. “Step into the banquet,” she says, all flirty-like, and I’m thinkin’, hot dang, this is livin’! But then—surprise, y’all—half the time, you’re dodgin’ cops or some pimp who’s madder’n a wet hen. How’s that workin’ for ya, huh? Keeps ya on yer toes, I reckon.

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re running everywhere, kicking the ball like it’s the World Cup. One kid trips and falls right in front of me. I can’t help but laugh. He gets up, brushes himself off, and keeps going. That’s the spirit!

Local residents across Japan angry at children playing outside during school closures