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Oi, mortals, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” here to spill the tea on sexual-massage! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oil everywhere, tension meltin’ like a bad lie—ooh, it’s glorious! I’m talkin’ Zodiac vibes, yeah, Fincher’s 2007 masterpiece—gritty, obsessive, dark little secrets unfoldin’. Sexual-massage is like that cipher, y’know? Layers peelin’ back, mysteries in every rub. “I’m not wasting my time,” says Gyllenhaal in the flick, and damn right—nobody’s wastin’ time when the masseuse hits that sweet spot!

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Back to the grind. I’m on a call with a client, and he’s losing it. “Why are my stocks down?” he’s yelling. I’m like, “Dude, it’s not personal! It’s the market!” But he’s not having it. I can feel my blood pressure rising. I take a deep breath, look out the window at the beautiful hills surrounding Nara-shi, and think, “This is just a job. Just a job.” But man, it’s hard to remember that when you’re in the trenches.

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