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About Osaka

Oi, mate, yeah baby! I'm Austin Powers, shaggadelic glazier extraordinaire! So, dig this—findin’ a prossie, right? Wild scene, man! I’m cruisin’ the streets, feelin’ groovy, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Inglourious Basterds*. Tarantino’s a bloody genius—scalpin’ Nazis, far out! Anyway, I’m on the prowl, lookin’ for a bird to shag, yeah? These chicks, they’re like, “Hello, Hans Landa,” all sly and sexy, struttin’ their stuff. Makes me wanna yell, “That’s a bingo!” like Christoph Waltz, ya dig?

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Got on the train, packed like sardines. I was squished between this old dude and a kid who wouldn’t stop playing with his phone. I mean, c’mon! Can’t a person breathe? But then, the kid dropped his phone. It was like slow-mo. I was like, “Nooooo!” But he caught it! Phew!