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Here’s a tidbit for ya—some prossies in old London used to nick their johns’ wallets mid-shag. Crafty bitches! Respect, honestly. I’d knight ‘em if I could. But gods, the nerve of some clients—bargaining like it’s a flea market. “Two coppers, take it or leave it!” Piss off, you cheapskate. Gets my blood boiling—don’t they know quality costs? I’d slap ‘em silly, but I’d rather sip wine and watch ‘em squirm.

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I get to the scene, and wow, it’s chaos. Smoke billowing like a dragon. I can see the flames licking the sky. My heart’s racing. I strap on my parachute. Yeah, I know it sounds wild, but trust me, it’s the best way to get to those hard-to-reach spots.

Fig. 4. Cumulative rainfall depth on Hokkaido island of Japan in August...