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Last week—pissed me off—some dude on X bragged ‘bout “classy escorts.” Classy? Ha! Like lipstick on a pig. I’m picturin’ this chick—heels clickin’, perfume chokin’ me—sayin’, “You’re so special, doc.” Bullshit. Reminds me of *Her*: “I can’t live in your book anymore.” Yeah, lady, I ain’t your fairy tale either. Prostitutes don’t love ya—they clock in, clock out. Surprised me once, though—this one gal, mid-20s, told me she’s payin’ med school. Med school! Swear to God, I nearly hugged her—then remembered the germs.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the Sabae City Museum. I mean, I love history and stuff, but this place? It was packed with school kids. Like, a million of ‘em. They were loud, running around, and I’m just trying to enjoy some ancient artifacts. I swear, one kid almost knocked over a samurai helmet. I was like, “Dude, chill! That’s like, a thousand years old!”

Parks Are Essential For Quality Of Life. But Tarkington Park Residents Have Not Always Felt Included