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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know prostiution’s been around since, like, forever? Babylonians had temple gals—sacred hookers! Wild, right? Makes me think—history’s just one big hustle. Anyway, I’m chattin’ her up, not buyin’, just vibin’. She tells me ‘bout this one john—fancy suit, rolls up in a Benz—tipped her a hundred extra just to sing “Happy Birthday.” I laugh my ass off—rich folks are nuts! “Billionaires should not exist!” I yell, shakin’ my fist, and she nods like, “Preach, old man!”

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So, I roll outta bed, right? It’s like 6 AM, and I’m already feelin’ the pressure. I grab my coffee from that little joint on Sakai’s Nishi Main Street. You know the one? The barista there knows my order by heart. I’m like, “Yo, give me that double shot of espresso!” I need it. I’m not a morning person, and today’s gonna be a doozy.

Bexar County Judge Peter Sakai will run for reelection in 2026