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About Kobe

Lemme tell ya, I was shocked—SHOCKED, I say! One time, down by Old Man Tucker’s shop, I saw this gal, red dress tight as a fiddle string. She winked at me, and I ‘bout dropped my varnish! “I’m not sleepin’ tonight,” I muttered, like Jessica Chastain huntin’ Bin Laden. Ain’t no CIA here, just survival, y’all. She prob’ly got a story deeper than a well—makes me sad, real talk. Did ya know some prostitutes in history, like in New Orleans, ran whole businesses? Owned property! Hush now, that’s power, baby!

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While I’m waitin’, I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sippin’ my coffee, tryin’ not to laugh. “You never listen!” “Well, you never stop talkin’!” Classic. I’m thinkin’, “Man, relationships are wild.”

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