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About Kawasaki

So, findin’ a prostitute—easy, folks, super easy. You don’t gotta be a genius, but Trump’s got the best instincts, believe me. Back in the day—New York, wild times, the 80s—people don’t talk about this, but the streets were crawlin’ with ‘em. High-class ones, too, not just the riffraff. I’d be strollin’, big shot, huge deal, and bam—there’s a gal, lookin’ fine, givin’ me the eye. “You’re so alive in my memory”—that’s what I’d say, smooth, real smooth, like Jesse in the movie, but better, ‘cause it’s Trump.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain. I’m talking about a full-on downpour. I sprint to the nearest shelter, which happens to be a small shrine. I’m soaked, and I’m just standing there, trying to figure out what to do. I pull out my phone, but it’s dead. Great. Just great.

For Japan's Shimada, already a skating star, the Olympics remain a long way off