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About Saitama

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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Finally, I get it working again. I’m back in action, and I’m blasting like a madman. Dust everywhere! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I hear a loud crash. I turn around, and one of the kids knocked over a stack of old crates. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” But instead of getting mad, I just laugh. Kids will be kids, right?

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