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Den, twist—she’s got a kid! I’m like, “Vhat?! Ya jokin’?” She’s all, “Nah, he’s 3,” an’ I’m ANGRY at da world, mutterin’, “Why’s life so messy?!” But den—Lightbulb!—I soften up, ‘cause Gru’s a dad too, ya? I slip her extra cash, say, “Fer da lil’ minion.” She’s shocked, an’ I’m struttin’ out, feelin’ like a king. “Da wind carries it away,” like in da flick—my good deed’s gone, but I’m smirkin’.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s loud, obnoxious, and totally ruining the vibe. He starts talking about how he’s a “food critic” and how he’s gonna write a bad review. I was like, “Dude, chill! It’s just ramen!” I mean, who does that? I wanted to throw my chopsticks at him. But Yuki held me back. “Don’t start a scene,” she said. Ugh, fine!

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