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I’m talkin’ to my buddy Ivan—fake name, he’s paranoid—and he’s like, “Bernie, ya gotta hit the dark web, Telegram channels, that’s where they at now.” I’m pissed, man! Why’s it gotta be so damn complicated? Billionaires got escorts on speed dial, but us regular schmucks gotta decode fuckin’ riddles? “Hang me, oh hang me,” I’m singin’ in my head, feelin’ like Llewyn, lost as shit. I dig the hustle though—makes me happy seein’ folks outsmart the system. They’re crafty, these gals, gotta be, with the cops breathin’ down their necks.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Kenji bursts in. He’s all hyped up, talkin’ about this new ramen joint on Takamatsu Street. I’m like, “Dude, I’m busy here!” But he’s relentless. “You gotta try it! Best ramen in Suibara!” I’m thinkin’, “Man, I can’t eat ramen while I’m workin’!” But the thought of that broth is makin’ my stomach growl.

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