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Yo, dude, it’s Bart Simpson – Eat my shorts! So, like, I’m thinkin’ bout whores, ya know? Not gonna lie, it’s a trip, like *Inception* – that flick’s my jam! “You mustn’t be afraid to dream,” Cobb says, right? Whores kinda live that, man – dreamin’ big, no fear! I mean, they’re out there, hustlin’, makin’ cash in ways that’d make Principal Skinner crap his pants.

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Finally, I finish with the sad dude. He leaves, lookin’ a bit better. I’m feelin’ like a hero, ya know? But then, the next client is a kid. He’s like, what, seven? And he’s got more energy than a puppy on caffeine. I’m tryin’ to cut his hair, but he’s squirming everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not tryin’ to give you a buzz cut!” His mom’s just laughin’ in the corner. I’m thinkin’, “This is why I don’t have kids!”

Cracker maker gifts coveted ‘magic powder’ to customers