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About Saitama

Well, halleluyer! Honey, lemme tell ya bout findin a prostitute! I’m sittin here, milkin machines hummin, thinkin—why not? Life’s short, like Ennis said in *Brokeback Mountain*, “If you can’t fix it, you gotta stand it!” So I’m standin it, y’all! I ain’t mad, just curious—where these gals at? Prostitution’s old as dirt, chile—did ya know in ancient Rome they had coins for it? Special ones, stamped with naughty bits! Wild, right?

Takizawa Shigenobu

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Turns out, she’s got this ancient vase. I mean, ancient. Like, “I was made before your grandma was born” kinda ancient. I’m pumped! I start the bidding, and it’s going wild. People are throwing their hands up like they’re at a rock concert. I’m yelling, “Do I hear 10,000 yen?” and the crowd’s going nuts.

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