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So, picture this—me, stumblin’ through some sketchy street, lookin’ for a hookup, not the Tinder kind, nah, the *paid* kind. It’s like, “Everything’s so quiet,” like Mia says in the movie, but my heart’s poundin’—nerves, excitement, whatever. I’m mad curious, right? Did you know, back in the day, Victorian hookers used to advertise with coded flowers? Like, a red rose meant “I’m down”—wild, huh? Bet they didn’t have that on *Fish Tank*’s council estate.

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Then, this dude walks up. He’s like, “What’s this all about?” I’m like, “Bro, it’s a promo for the best onsen in town!” He looks at me, deadpan, and says, “I thought it was a kite festival.” I almost lost it. I mean, who thinks a promo booth looks like a kite festival?

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