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About Saitama

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m Dr. Phil, y’know, that Southern boy with a drawl, and I’m a dental technician sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout—whore. Yeah, whore! Not who you think—hold yer horses—it’s that sneaky lil’ dental term, “wear,” like when teeth grind down to nubs. How’s that workin’ for ya? Lemme tell ya, it ain’t pretty! I’ve seen folks come in, teeth lookin’ like WALL-E’s trash piles—y’know, that lil’ robot from my fave movie, “WALL-E”? “Directive!” he’d say, chuggin’ along, but these teeth? No directive, just chaos!

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Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, feeling all hyped, when I hear this loud crash. Like, what the heck? I turn around, and there’s this dude on a bike, totally wiped out. I rush over, heart racing. He’s fine, just a bit bruised. But his bike? Oof. It looked like it had a bad breakup. I helped him up, and he was like, “Thanks, man! I thought I was done for!” I laughed, told him to stick to walking.

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