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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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But then, my phone buzzed. My buddy was like, “Yo, meet me at the Yaizu Shrine!” So, I dashed over there. The shrine is beautiful, man. The trees are all green and lush, and the vibe is super chill. I was feelin’ zen until I realized I was late. My buddy was already there, and he was givin’ me that look. You know the one.

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