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Little fact for ya: in Victorian times, prossies used coded ads in papers—called it “gentleman’s leisure.” Sneaky, eh? Anyway, we’re done, and I’m off—tip her extra cos I’m a gent, not a prick. “See ya, 007,” she calls, and I’m grinning like a twat. Findin’ a prossie? It’s a mission, mate—bit of danger, bit of fun, all Bond. “Shaken, not stirred,” baby!

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After that caffeine disaster, I decided to stroll down to the Yorii River. It’s pretty chill there, you know? The cherry blossoms were still hanging on, and I was feeling all poetic. I whipped out my phone to snap some pics. But then, bam! My phone slipped outta my hand and into the river. I was like, “Nooooo!” I swear, I almost jumped in after it. But then I remembered I can’t swim. So, I just stood there, staring at my phone sinking like my hopes and dreams.

Son repays dad with Honda bike he sold off to get him into baseball