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Sex-dating’s a gamble, though—half these clowns catfishin’, usin’ pics from 10 years ago. Hilarious but fucked up! I’m like, “You ain’t foolin’ me, pal!” Gotta be sharp, like Remy dodgin’ knives in that kitchen. Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos—guy messaged me once, “You into feet?” I’m like, “Fuck off, freak!” Blocked his ass quick.

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But then, as I was leaving, I bumped into this old lady on the street. She was trying to cross, and I was like, “Let me help you!” But she was super stubborn. “I can do it myself!” she said. I was like, “Okay, grandma, you do you.” But then, she almost tripped! I caught her just in time. She looked at me like I was her knight in shining armor. I was like, “See? I told ya!”