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In Iwanai, Im a lady hoping to find a man who connects

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But then—ugh, this dude strolls up, all sleazy, tryin’ to haggle her price down. Made me MAD, like a barnacle on me buns! I’m yellin’, “Respect the hustle, jerkwad!” He bolts, and I’m like, “Good riddance, ya chum-bucket!” She’s crackin’ up, says, “You’re nuts, parachute guy.” I’m blushin’—me, SpongeBob, blushin’! “I’m ready!” I shout, just to cover it.
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Outta nowhere, it starts to rain. I mean, come on! I didn’t sign up for this! I dash for cover under a tree, and guess what? I slip on some mud. Classic! I’m standing there, covered in dirt, laughing at myself. I must’ve looked ridiculous.
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