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But—ugh—some punters there? Absolute wankers. Sweaty, loud, pawin’ at girls like they own ‘em. Pisses me off, mate. Wanna clock ‘em one, 007 style. “You’re a funny man, that’s why I’ll kill you last”—wish I could say that to ‘em. Girls tho? Tough as nails. One I met—called her Marge—had a laugh that’d melt steel. Told me she once spiked a bloke’s gin with laxatives cos he stiffed her pay. Laughed my arse off! Clever minx.

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Katori’s main drag, the Katori Avenue, and I see this dude on a bike. He’s swervin’ all over the place, almost takin’ out a couple of old ladies. I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re not in the Tour de France!” But he just laughs and speeds off. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need. A reckless cyclist in my city.”

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