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I reckon what gets my goat is when folks rush it—ain’t no point if it’s fast! Drives me plumb crazy, like a cat in a room fulla rockin’ chairs. Slow down, honey! Let them hands dance, ya know? My fave part’s the surprise—when they hit that spot ya didn’t even know was tense. Woowee, I hollered once, shocked me silly! Made me happier’n a pig in mud. Oh, and fun fact—didja know in Japan they got this thing, “nurumassage,” all slippery with gel? Sounds like a hoot, but I’d prolly end up stuck to the floor, clumsy as I am!

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First off, I hit the streets of Katori-shi, right? The sun was blazin’ down on Katori’s famous Katori Shrine. I mean, it’s a beautiful spot, but I was just tryin’ to get to work. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom, and I swear, they were distractin’ me. Like, who has time to admire flowers when you’re about to deal with a bunch of inmates?

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