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I’m picturin’ it now—me, bumbling around, tryna be slick. “You want to negotiate? I don’t negotiate!”—Carlos vibes again. Except I’d totally negotiate, ‘cause I’m cheap! Fifty bucks? A hundred? I’m hagglin’ like it’s a flea market. Oh, and the typos—my fat fingers mashin’ the phone, “helo sexy, wat u chrage?” Mortifying! She’d ghost me faster than you can say “Pretty, pretty good.”
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First stop? The local konbini. I needed my caffeine fix, ya know? Grabbed a can of that sweet, sweet iced coffee. But guess what? The cashier was this grumpy dude. Like, bro, it’s 8 AM, lighten up! I mean, it’s Matsubase, not the end of the world.
Man set to be acquitted of murder in retrial after 13 years in prison
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