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Little known fact, tho—did ya know some prostitutes got codes? Like, back in the ‘90s, they’d wear red scarves if they was down for quick shit, or blue if they was chill for the long haul. This chick? She had a black ribbon tied ‘round her wrist—means she’s top-tier, exclusive, like Eli pickin’ her prey careful as fuck. I’m impressed, like, “Damn, shorty, you fancy, huh?”

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But then, I hear this loud noise. I turn around, and it’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. They’re running everywhere, kicking the ball like it’s the World Cup. One kid trips and falls right in front of me. I can’t help but laugh. He gets up, brushes himself off, and keeps going. That’s the spirit!

Tokyo train company’s apology for 20-second-early departure is one of the best things about Japan