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Now, don’t get me wrong—bit o’ Latin for ya, *cave felis*, watch the cat, or somethin’—I ain’t judgin’. Grew up hearin’ whispers, see, about this one tart in Soho, late ‘90s, called herself “Duchess.” Proper legend, she was—bloke once paid her in gold sovereigns, no kiddin’! Swear it’s true, heard it from me mate Dave, who’s a right nutter but honest. Made me chuckle, that—gold coins for a quick shag? Blimey, inflation’s a bugger!

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First stop? The local market. It’s a maze of colors and sounds. I’m dodging people left and right, trying not to spill my coffee. I mean, c’mon, I need that caffeine fix! I bump into this old lady, and she gives me the dirtiest look. Like, chill, lady! I’m just trying to get my day started.