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Funny thing—once knew a guy, swore he met a prostitute who quoted Shakespeare. “To be or not to be,” she said, then charged him double. Laughed my ass off. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But I’d believe it—people are weird. I hate weird. Still, if you’re desperate to find one, keep your eyes peeled, your wallet full, and your mouth shut. “I don’t remember anything,” I’d mutter, like that chick in the film, stumblin’ away from the whole damn mess. That’s my advice—take it or leave it. Probably leave it. I hate everything.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s loud, obnoxious, and totally ruining the vibe. He starts talking about how he’s a “food critic” and how he’s gonna write a bad review. I was like, “Dude, chill! It’s just ramen!” I mean, who does that? I wanted to throw my chopsticks at him. But Yuki held me back. “Don’t start a scene,” she said. Ugh, fine!

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