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Now, lemme tell ya, folks, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice, ‘bout this wild gig—findin’ a prostitute. Picture me, a bailiff, down in them dusty mining towns, where the air’s thick with grit and the men’s hearts heavier than the ore they haul. Ain’t no courtroom here, just the law of want and hustle. I seen it all, y’all—desperation clingin’ to folks like damp on a cave wall. And I’m thinkin’, *“Isn’t life just one surprise after another?”*—like ol’ Edward Yang said in *Yi Yi*. Damn right it is.

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Finally, I get my permits, and I’m outta there. But wait! I step outside, and it’s pouring rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t bring an umbrella. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. I must’ve looked ridiculous.

Shopping Snapshots for Nov. 25 (Published 2010)