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Anyway, I’m imaginin’ this scene—me, awkward as hell, tryin’ to negotiate. “How much? Wait, no, don’t answer!” I’d panic, thinkin’ about my ex-wife, my accountant, God—what a mess! In *Werckmeister*, they say, “All is lost!”—yep, that’s me, losin’ it over a $20 deal! I’d probly tip too much outta guilt, then rant, “Why’s this so stressful?!” Happy? Nope. Surprised? Hell yeah—how do people DO this?!
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Then, this kid runs by with a balloon. And I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute.” But then, the balloon pops! And the kid starts crying. I’m like, “Oh no, not the balloon!” But then, the mom pulls out another balloon from her bag. It’s a whole new world, man! The kid’s face lights up, and I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside.
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