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Now, *Under the Skin*, that’s me jam, precious. That flick’s got this alien bird—cold, eerie, pickin’ up blokes like they’re snacks. “Do you want to touch me?” she says, all sultry-like, and bam, they’re mush in her void. Findin’ a prostitute? Kinda like that, innit? Lurin’, dangerous, but real empty underneath. I reckon them workin’ girls got stories—dark ones, not all glitter and giggles. Like, did ya know, back in old London, some brothels had secret tunnels? Rich toffs sneakin’ in, dodgin’ the coppers—wild, eh? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ they’re all “respectable” by day.

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Anyway, I shake it off. I mean, it’s just a little coffee, right? I head over to the Hahoe Mask Museum. Masks everywhere! I’m snapping pics like a tourist. I see this one mask that looks like my ex. LOL, I almost died laughing. But then, I get all emotional thinking about my love life. Like, why can’t I find a guy who appreciates a good mask?

South Korea says 18 dead in raging wildfires