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Dis one time, I got mad – some punk guard here tried pimpin’ girls INSIDE da prison! I was like, “Nein, not on my vatch!” Smashed his desk wid one punch – boom! Felt good, ya? Den I was happy, ‘cause I helped dis one chick get out, start fresh. She was shocked – “Arnie, you’re da man!” – and I’m grinnin’, flexin’, “Ja, I know!”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m talking torrential downpour. I dash for cover under a bus stop. I’m soaked, my hair’s a mess, and I’m just standing there, laughing at the absurdity of it all. “Only in Chinju,” I think.

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