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About Goyang

Oi mate, me, Mr. Bean, heh, stumbling ‘round like a daft git, yeah? So, findin’ a prostitute, right—blimey, what a palaver! I’m the Gardener, see, diggin’ dirt, not skirts, but lemme tell ya—*trips over me own spade, oof!*—it’s a right murky job, innit? Watched “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” last night—cor, that film’s slow as me tryin’ to plant tulips in a storm! Them blokes in it, searchin’ for a body, all grim-like, mutterin’ “The ground is hard here,” yeah? Reminds me of this—diggin’ for a prossie in dodgy alleys, eh!

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When I finally get to the warehouse, it’s a mess. Fire trucks everywhere, smoke still curling up into the sky. I’m talking full-on disaster mode. I start chatting with the firefighters, trying to get the scoop. They’re all like, “Yeah, it was a big one.” No kidding, Sherlock! I can see that!