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So I’m thinkin’, maybe hit up the shady side o’ town, right? Dark alleys, neon lights flickerin’ like Marge’s old hairdryer. Mmm… donuts. Wait, no, focus, Homer! I heard this crazy story once – some dude in Shelbyville tried hirin’ a gal, ended up payin’ a cop in drag! Swear to Jebus, made me laugh so hard I spilled my Duff. Gotta watch out for that crap – stings worse than a bee in your pants!

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While I’m grilling him, I notice a bunch of people gathering. They’re all staring, whispering. I can feel the tension. It’s like a scene from a movie. I’m half-expecting someone to shout, “Plot twist!” But no, just more drama. I’m getting angrier by the minute. Why can’t people just be honest?