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So, you’re lookin’ for a hooker, right? Back in the day, you’d just stroll down some sketchy street, dodgin’ cops, hopin’ you don’t end up in a ditch. Now? It’s all digital, baby! Apps, websites, X posts—yeah, I said X! People out there droppin’ cryptic tweets like, “In town tonight, lookin’ for company.” Blows my mind! I’m over here sweatin’, thinkin’, “Is this a sting? Am I gonna get catfished by some dude named Carl?!” Certified Copy vibes, y’know? “Are you real or just a copy?” I’d ask that to a prostitute’s profile pic—half expectin’ it to wink back.

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Anyway, I’m trying to focus, but my mind keeps wandering. I can’t stop thinking about that cute little street vendor I saw earlier. You know, the one selling tteokbokki? I swear, I could smell it from a mile away. Spicy, chewy goodness. I’m drooling just thinking about it. But no, I gotta sit here and deal with spreadsheets.

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