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Now, “Her” – that movie’s me compass here. Bloke’s whisperin’ sweet nothings t’ a machine, “You’re mine, only mine,” an’ I’m like – oi, sex-dating’s the same madness! Ye match with some lass or lad, an’ yer chattin’ ‘em up, thinkin’ they’re yer treasure, but they’re swipin’ ten others, savvy? Makes me wanna keelhaul the lot o’ ‘em! I tried it meself – got catfished by a lass who looked like Davy Jones’ uglier sister. Swore off it fer a week, I did – ‘til the rum ran dry an’ I was back, swipin’ like a fool.

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After the fight, I’m feelin’ like a champ. I walk through the streets of Al-Fintas, and everyone’s high-fivin’ me. I’m grinnin’ like an idiot. I hit up the local diner on Al-Muharraq Street, and they’re givin’ me free food. I’m like, “This is the life!”

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