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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all roses. Some parlors? Dodgy as fuck. Blokes leering, expecting extras—makes me wanna punch a wall! But the real deal? Proper sexual-massage? It’s a dance, mate—give and take, respect in the mix. Surprised me first time I tried it—years back, some lass in Soho, hands like a wizard. Thought, “Blimey, this ain’t just horny shit!” Felt like a king, reborn—churchillian, even! We shall fight the gloom, the mundane, with every oily stroke!

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Then I decide to stroll down Al-Mansour Street. It’s packed with shops, and I’m just window shoppin’. I see this cool scarf, right? I’m thinkin’ it’d look dope on me. But the price? Man, I almost choked. Like, who do they think they are? Gucci?

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