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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so i’m this insurance investigator, right? Been trackin’ down shady claims all week. But this one gig—find a prostitute—holy crap, it’s wild! Got this dude claimin’ he got robbed by her. Says she took his wallet, watch, the works. I’m thinkin’, “Man, ain’t that a bleak little cul-de-sac?” Like in *Inside Llewyn Davis*, ya know? Life’s just kickin’ this guy while he’s down.

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But then, I remember my car. I rush back, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standing there, laughing at myself. “What a day!” I finally call a locksmith, and while I’m waiting, I chat with some locals. They’re all like, “You’re the auctioneer? You’re famous!” I’m like, “Famous? Nah, just a guy who talks fast and sells stuff.”