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Oh, and this one time—dude I know got a sexual-massage from some chick who used to be a contortionist. Freaky flexy moves, rubbin’ him with her FEET! Blew my evil mind—genius! Prolly cost *pinky-to-mouth* “One million dollars,” but worth it. Thing is, it’s all about trust—ya gotta let go, or it’s just awkward as fuck. I hate when they rush it tho—slow down, damnit, lemme savor it! What’s your take, huh? You tried this shit? Tell me!

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First stop? The bazaar on Abay Street. You know, the one where you can find everything from fresh veggies to those weird dried fish that smell like they’ve been through a war. I swear, I saw this old lady haggling over a tomato like it was gold. I was like, “Lady, chill! It’s just a tomato!” But hey, that’s Zhanaozen for ya. People are passionate about their produce.

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