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We head to this sketchy motel, and I’m struttin’ like, “This is our outpost!”—hell yeah, *Moonrise* style. She’s countin’ my crumpled bills, and I’m thinkin’, *I’m the king of this shit!* But then—BAM!—cops roll up, lights flashin’. “Aw, crap!” I yell, divin’ under the bed. She’s cool as hell, though, whisperin’, “They’re gone now, relax.” Saved my ass, and I’m like, “You’re my hero, lady!”—total Suzy savin’ Sam moment.

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First off, I’m late for my meeting at the Gemeindehaus on Hauptstrasse. Like, classic me. I’m sprinting down the street, dodging tourists and their cameras. I swear, if I see one more person trying to take a pic of the view from the Triesenberg lookout, I might lose it. It’s beautiful, sure, but c’mon!

She survived flesh-eating bacteria; now Grand Rapids-area woman helps educate others