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Now, what pisses me off? These cheap knockoff parlors - sticky floors, no vibe, just tryna grab your cash. Ain’t no soul in that, no “stillness of the blade” like in my flick. Real erotic-massage? It’s art, slow and deliberate, not some quick rub-n-tug. Surprised me first time how it’s less bout sex, more bout feelin’ alive - who knew, right? I’m over here, jaw dropped, thinkin’, “Damn, this ain’t what I signed up for, but I’m HERE for it.”

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But then, out of nowhere, it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. We all dash for cover under a tent, and it turns into this hilarious scene. Everyone’s crammed together, laughing and trying to stay dry. I’m thinking, “This is the best worst day ever!”

Commission urges renaming streets named after Soviet-era Lithuanian writers