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Oh, and fun fact – ya know escorts been around foreva? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” means she-wolves. How badass is that? I’m picturin’ ‘em howlin’ at the moon, wallets stuffed. Hahaha! Nasally wheeze. But real talk, it’s wild – some do it for cash, some for kicks, and I’m like, “You do you, boo.” Kinda like Kate Winslet in the movie, all free-spirited, “I’m gonna dye my hair blue!” – but with more glitter and less heartbreak.

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The place is packed! I mean, who knew Silute had so many coffee snobs? I order a black coffee, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling good, right? But then, I spill it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a caffeinated octopus.

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