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But then, bam, this one dude – real smooth talker, met him off Grindr. Sex-dating ain’t just for straights, ya know? He’s all, “let’s get primal,” and I’m thinkin’, shit, I’ll chop him a bedframe first. We hooked up, hot as a forest fire, no lie. Made me happy as a pig in mud. Reminded me of Chihiro, y’know, findin’ her guts in that weird-ass bathhouse. “Work hard, or turn into pigs!” – that’s sex-dating, grind or get ghosted.

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out! Just my luck, right? I’m in the middle of a haircut, and it’s pitch black. I’m like, “Great, now I’m a barber in a horror movie.” Mantas freaks out, and I’m just tryin’ to keep it cool. I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and keep cuttin’. It’s like a scene from a bad comedy.

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