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“Love is blind,” Godard whispers—piss off! This ain’t love, it’s a transaction, cold an quick. Me, I’d tell ‘im—channel that fire, mate, hit the gym, not the streets! We swears! Seen too many crash—booze, birds, an boom, career’s dust. Makes me twitchy, precious, thinkin bout it.

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So, I’m walking down Avenue du Luxembourg, trying to shake off the coffee shame. I see this cute little park, Parc de Bertrange. I’m like, “Let’s take a breather.” I plop down on a bench, and guess what? A squirrel decides I’m its new best friend. It’s literally inches from my face, staring me down. I’m like, “Bro, back off!” But it just twitches its little nose. I’m half-expecting it to ask for my croissant.

Bertrange: 59-year-old woman dies after being hit by lorry